Family Values
Did Jesus have family values? Reading the Gospels you might wonder. He tells us to hate our mothers, fathers, and all other earthly attachments. He encourages his disciples by saying that those who leave their families for the gospel will be rewarded. And he calls his own mother “woman” – which to our ears doesn’t sound very nice. And of course, unless you believe a contemporary work of utter fiction, Jesus never married nor had any children. He had lots of friends, and had many dinner parties with sinners.
When put like that he doesn’t sound like a “family guy.” Well he certainly wasn’t in the American sense of that term. It’s hard to imagine Jesus shuttling kids in some manic craze from soccer practice to band rehearsal, to karate, to voice lessons, to hockey, to theater, to the counselor to talk about how to deal with over-commitment, etc. Not that he would have been against any ONE of those things. I think what he would have been for is clear from the gospels.
Jesus would have been for the dinner table. In Mark 10 Jesus famously rebukes the disciples for holding back the children, and he picks them up and blesses them on his lap. He would have been for “spending time with the kids” - not just time in the car but time around the table, in eyeball to eyeball conversation. Americans (particularly politicians) love to talk about family values, but I’ve found that many countries have much better table manners – meaning a commitment to eating together as families – than we do. This is particularly true in Europe. Is this why France and Holland, where church attendance is below 10%, teenage pregnancy is also much lower than in the States? Some good moral formation can happen around the dinner table.
Of course it has nothing to do with the table, or the food, and everything to do with the regular commitment of time. This is where we need to heed Jesus’ radical statements. Sometimes we need to leave aside our dependencies, however important they may seem (making more money, keeping the boss happy, etc.) in order to obey the law of love. Sometimes you have to make radical choices, which might seem as unnatural as hating your parent, but which demonstrate true wisdom. Whatever else “family values” might mean – it certainly means loving those nearest to us with the well-ordered love of a disciple who wants the best for the beloved. This might or might not include soccer.
When put like that he doesn’t sound like a “family guy.” Well he certainly wasn’t in the American sense of that term. It’s hard to imagine Jesus shuttling kids in some manic craze from soccer practice to band rehearsal, to karate, to voice lessons, to hockey, to theater, to the counselor to talk about how to deal with over-commitment, etc. Not that he would have been against any ONE of those things. I think what he would have been for is clear from the gospels.
Jesus would have been for the dinner table. In Mark 10 Jesus famously rebukes the disciples for holding back the children, and he picks them up and blesses them on his lap. He would have been for “spending time with the kids” - not just time in the car but time around the table, in eyeball to eyeball conversation. Americans (particularly politicians) love to talk about family values, but I’ve found that many countries have much better table manners – meaning a commitment to eating together as families – than we do. This is particularly true in Europe. Is this why France and Holland, where church attendance is below 10%, teenage pregnancy is also much lower than in the States? Some good moral formation can happen around the dinner table.
Of course it has nothing to do with the table, or the food, and everything to do with the regular commitment of time. This is where we need to heed Jesus’ radical statements. Sometimes we need to leave aside our dependencies, however important they may seem (making more money, keeping the boss happy, etc.) in order to obey the law of love. Sometimes you have to make radical choices, which might seem as unnatural as hating your parent, but which demonstrate true wisdom. Whatever else “family values” might mean – it certainly means loving those nearest to us with the well-ordered love of a disciple who wants the best for the beloved. This might or might not include soccer.
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